Body Image Issues

Although I love to hear people exclaim "Oh my Gawd Lisa, you look great!!! How much weight have you lost?", why is it I have such a hard time believing them? When I look in the mirror, I see the same body I saw 60 pounds ago...and when I look in the mirror in my underwear, it's even worse -- I see the same fat body only with the addition of sagging skin and wrinkles!!! I feel like the character in my favorite childhood bedtime story "The Saggy Baggy Elephant". So the complimentary words that come at me from other people's lips fall on deaf ears...I can't quite believe they are speaking the truth.

It's really weird. Although I've lost 60 pounds since July, if my clothes weren't falling off of me and the needle on the scale wasn't slowly going down, I wouldn't be able to tell. I weigh myself every single morning fearing that the scale may have "fixed itself" since yesterday and I will see that I haven't lost any weight at all!! Sounds crazy, I know. In fact, I'd heard about a mental disorder called "body dysmorphia" and I googled it...but I don't exactly fit the definition/description because it is not debilitating for me. But I know I'm suffering from a very mild form of it, for sure.

Anyway, I find that I've been a bit in the doldrums and finally recognized that it's been due to this poor body image I have!! The idea that all this weight loss is not making me feel beautiful...I mean who's gonna' want to fall in love with an OLD, Saggy Baggy Elephant Gramma when there are so many hard bodies out there? I have to keep reminding myself that I didn't change my eating habits and lose weight for the "beauty" factor -- I did it to improve my health because I want to be around for my grandkids. I don't want to keel over one day just because I couldn't give up sodas, koolaid, pastries, candy, butter, bread and copious amounts of red meat. And I have to pat myself on the back for having taken a proactive stance and followed through with nutrition education and rethinking my eating habits. But I'm having a difficult time shaking off this negative self-talk!!

I hope that Rocky is right when she tells me "You wanna' know who falls in love with an old, saggy baggy elephant gramma? An old, saggy baggy elephant GRAMPA, that's who!!! And there is one out there looking for you, Lisa."

Peace...and I'm outta' here.